it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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