The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
