She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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