just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
