Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
