I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
