Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
