she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
