i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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