PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
