he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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