so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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