Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
