What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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