My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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