Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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