we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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