Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
