I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
