ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
