She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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