they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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