White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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