I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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