In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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