the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
