just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it glows. i had to have it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
