just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
