Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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