I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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