PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he shaved USA in his pubs
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
