Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
