well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
