Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
