Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize