I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
