Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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