Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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