Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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