she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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