thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he was CRYING into my vagina
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize