"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
