Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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