The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
