I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
