apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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