Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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