worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
