I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
