I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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