I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
