So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
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I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I wear drunk well.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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