So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
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I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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