You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
