we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
