I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
