Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
