I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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