He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
