Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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