Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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