Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We got so high we made milksteak
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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